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Shiznat

Its been a while since I've posted an entry in my journal. Haven't really needed to. I've been doing better. I am now taking medications and they're helping control my depression. I still do get depressed at times, and that's what I'll be typing about here.

For the first thing, since I don't have a job and have been unable to get one, I am usually at home all day, every day, unless Matt and I go out and shop and things. This is because I can't drive, and there's not much within walking distance. I don't know what I can do to remedy this. I am planning on going to school next fall or spring, but that's still going to be a while. I'm afraid I'll go crazy from being cooped inside before then.

I also seem to be picking up more on the flaws in people. I seem to be very good at it, but its not something I -want- to be good at. I can find the nicest person, and find things annoying about them. I'm afraid I'm going to end up not wanting to talk to anyone about this. I don't want to end up being bitter and resentful like my mother is, and hateful, so I need to change this.

I get so depressed with how some people can be so careless and cruel. I think "Do I really want to live in a world, where everyone can be so inherently mean?" and I lose sight that there are still good people. I know most people pay more attention to negative things than positive, but I seem to enhance it further.

I just want to stop being so pessimistic, and find a way to get out of the house. Anyone have ideas?

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